Only the queen has more job security: JPMorgan Chase shareholders voted Tuesday to let Jamie Dimon keep both the chairman and CEO roles, even though the banking behemoth suffered a $6 billion trading loss in 2012.

It stands to reason that, since JPMorgan Chase is too big to fail, its head honcho has got to be too big to fire.

There goes the virtual neighborhood: Teenagers are turning to Twitter because they think there are too...

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Surviving in style: Most moms have fought the battle to get their kids to wear helmets when riding bikes, skateboards and such, but new helmet designs with shark fins, critter ears and dinosaur horns should end the arguments.

But why stop with the kids? More than a few adults have to be coerced into making safe choices, which is why we've applied for patents for a seat-belt with USB...

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But full of excuses: Motorists won't be surprised to hear that the average price for regular gas in the U.S. increased by 11 cents in recent weeks. A petroleum industry analyst said the price increase was "driven by infrastructure problems downstream at the refinery level."

Allow us to translate for the oil companies: "You're paying more for gas because we just realized it's almost...

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The Evergreen State: The state Liquor Control Board has issued its draft rules for regulation of the state's new marijuana industry, including a mandate that pot products carry a label that says "this product is unlawful outside of Washington state."

But the language might need to be adjusted for its target audience: "Dude, firing up this premium smoke outside of this bodacious state...

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What is a "feasance" anyway? State lawmakers are discussing legislation that would make it easier for citizens to recall elected officials, a process that some see as too convoluted and expensive. Currently, recalls can be sought for "malfeasance or misfeasance."

The proposed legislation would allow recalls to be sought for reasons that don't have to be looked up in a dictionary.

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So where do you find Solitaire on this thing? Microsoft says Windows 8.1, a planned update to its much-maligned Windows 8, will be free of charge when it rolls out later this year. Microsoft says it's never made customers pay for "decimal point" updates.

Windows 8 users, however, say they'd gladly hand over some cash if they can just get the freakin' Start button back.

If it fits ... O.J. Simpson won a small victory on Day 2 of his attempt to...

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Here am I, sitting in my tin can: A Canadian astronaut aboard the International Space Station has produced what is believed to be the first music video made in zero-gravity. Astronaut Chris Hadfield taped a version of David Bowie's "Space Oddity" for YouTube.

Hadfield returned to Earth late Monday, unfortunately before he could finish work on programming the space station's robotic...

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Surfing the vast cultural wasteland: Several TV series are wrapping up their seasons with special guests. Heavy metal legends Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath perform in the season finale of "CSI," 10 p.m. Wednesday on CBS.

OK. Black Sabbath performs. Ozzy shuffles in and out of the crime scenes and the morgue, yelling, "Sharon! Sharon! I can't find the (bleep) TV remote!"


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#Mahmmm! A review of Facebook data shows that of its 1 billion users, 1 in 3 moms are "friends" with their teenage kids on Facebook. But some teens are using Facebook as a cover and posting the stuff they don't want Mom to see on Twitter.

At least they were until Mom asks, as a Mother's Day favor, to start following the kids on Twitter.

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Voted off the...

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To boldly go where we've been 11 times before: The summer movie season is upon us, which means a flood of sequels, prequels, remakes and reboots are approaching a theater near you. Herald movie critic Robert Horton runs down the list. Among the more anticipated flicks is the sequel to the recent "Star Trek" reboot with a new young cast aboard the starship Enterprise.

Sure, the new crew...

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Brand management: With wealthy folks snapping up Ferraris left and right, the Italian supercar maker will limit sales to protect the brand's aura of exclusivity.

From now on, purchase of Ferraris will be restricted to the following people: Saudi oil sheiks, NBA franchise owners and Mitt Romney.

Don't sit there: Today, only a select few can buy a Ferrari. In the Middle Ages only kings and popes could sit in chairs. Everyone else...

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Don't cry for me, Argentina: Former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, R-Appalachian Trail, who disgraced himself four years ago when his affair with his Argentinian mistress was revealed, has been returned to office by state voters, this time to serve in Congress.

Asked why they would vote for a man who cheated on his wife and lied about it, South Carolina voters replied: "It's just...

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Pfizer Inc. says it will begin selling Viagra directly to patients on its website, which is good news for men who are too bashful to ask their neighborhood druggist for the impotence remedy.

Even more embarrassing would be admitting you bought counterfeit Viagra from one of the countless scammers whose email pitches land in your spam folder.



Knowing me, knowing you: A museum devoted to campy 1970s hitmakers ABBA opens today in...

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Many chain restaurants across the nation now post calorie counts and other nutritional information on their menus.

In many cases, the calories counts are required by government regulation, And at Claim Jumper, the restaurant chain noted for enormous serving sizes, regulators may also order additional disclosures, such as "This Entree Could Feed an Entire Village in Sub-Saharan Africa for One Day."


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Put that brand where the sun don't shine: The employees of a New York brokerage firm have gotten tattoos of the company's logo. The tattoos prove the workers' loyalty -- and score them an extra 15 percent commission.

Even disgruntled employees could be gung-ho for the corporate tattoo -- as long as it's on a certain body part.



@SuperRichDude: Billionaire Warren Buffett doesn't have a computer on his desk at Berkshire Hathaway headquarters, but the...

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Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto: A United Nations report is warning about the potential threat posed by "killer robots" that could make life-or-death decisions without input from human controllers, including guard robots developed by electronics-maker Samsung. The Samsung robots are controlled by humans but have an "automatic mode."

Until the U.N. drafts some actual Robot's Rules of Order,...

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Hey, hey, ho, ho, capital letters have got to go: May Day started markedly quieter this year than last in downtown Seattle as pro-labor and immigration marches went forward without the vandalism and violence caused by anarchists in 2012. The protests turned violent later in the night with reports of broken glass.

One factor in the day's earlier quiet may have been confusion among...

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It was 20 years ago today: The computer scientist who created the world's first website and made it available to all on this day in 1993 has brought the site back to life.

Intended as a tutorial on using the World Wide Web, the site consists of crude drawings of human figures spearing...

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Oh, garcon: Yelp, the online review service that invites anyone to become a restaurant critic or hotel reviewer, has added to its helpful advice with reviews of jails and prisons, written by inmates and attorneys. An Orange County, Calif., jail, for example, is lauded on Yelp for its cleanliness, urban setting and "very nice" deputies.

The Buzz puts a lot of emphasis on atmosphere at...

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The bold ones

Our long national nightmare is over: After a week of flight delays that had inconvenienced travelers -- including, most notably, those in the first-class cabin -- Congress on Friday took steps to lift the furloughs of air traffic controllers (Page AX).

Congress' action was taken so swiftly that you'd almost think they were flying home this weekend for a weeklong break. Oh, wait ...



Uff-da: Herald writer...

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Oh, you shouldn't have: A Renton man has been arrested on charges he sold phony Dale Chihuly glass sculptures to a collector who planned to donate them to Gonzaga University.

The good news is that the recipient of the fake Chihuly pieces can just go ahead and hide them away in some back closet shelf without feeling bad about it.

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Tappa Kegga Dae: In a program designed to train the next generation of craft brewers,...

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Do as I say or I'll do as you do: President Barack Obama says he's told his daughters that if they ever get a tattoo, he and first lady Michelle Obama will get the same tattoo on the same place on their bodies, then show it off on YouTube.

That strategy will either mortify the girls so much that they'll never get tattoos, or Obama will become the first president with "Justin "...

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The richest 7 percent of Americans got richer between 2009 and 2011, while average net worth declined for the other 93 percent, a report says.

Obviously, the well-to-do enjoyed a good couple of years. Still, we can only imagine how even greater things would have been without all that socialism from Obama.

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Tap this: In an effort to curb distracted driving, traffic safety regulators want automakers to put stronger limits on how long...

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Faceplant: Facebook's new Android smartphone interface, Facebook Home, has been downloaded 500,000 times since its release a week ago, but that number suffers in comparison to other smartphone apps. Instagram's app for Android hit more than 1 million downloads in its first 24 hours of release.

To put it in terms that Facebook users will appreciate, Facebook Home is like that photo of...

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There goes the neighborhood: A University of Washington astrophysicist and astronomy professor has added the discovery of a second planet to his credit. Kepler-62f, 1,200 light years away, is considered the most Earth-like plant ever found outside our solar system. It is a rocky planet 1.4 times the size of the Earth and with temperatures that would allow liquid water, crucial to the presence...

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All the President's Tweets: News junkies would do well to take in the Discovery Channel's "All the President's Men Revisited" on Sunday. In addition to interviews with some of the key players in the Watergate story and President Richard Nixon's fall, the documentary also examines how the news media landscape has changed and how, in the age of 24-hour news cycles and Twitter, Watergate might have...

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The comptroller for the Washington State Liquor Control Board has been taking a crash course in marijuana, in a bid to learn everything he can before weed can be legally sold in the state late this year (Page B1). He's been studying pot production, processing and testing for potency and contaminants.

Next, he'll spend an entire weekend holed up in his bedroom, listening to "The Dark Side of the Moon" through headphones.

Kissin' cousins: In...

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A computer glitch forced the grounding of all American Airlines flights Tuesday. One travel expert advised travelers stranded at airports to buy one-day passes to the American Airlines lounge, enjoy a few drinks and some free snacks, and wait.

The problem with that advice is that an airline capable of undergoing a complete computer system crash is also quite likely to run out of everything except Fresca and yogurt-covered raisins at its airport lounges.


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Missed that bit in "The Diary of Anne Frank": Justin Bieber, Canadian pop star and apparent European history buff, was criticized Sunday for a comment he left in a guest book at Amsterdam's Anne Frank House. Bieber noted that Frank, who was captured by the Nazis and died in a concentration camp in 1945, "was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber," the term used for his fans.

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Another unemployed childhood icon: Kool-Aid is revamping its Kool-Aid Man mascot, changing him from the live-action soft-drink pitcher who crashes through walls and yells, "Oh, yeah!" to a digitally animated character with a wider vocabulary.

That's left the unemployed Kool-Aid Man to work for tips at bars and pizza joints as a beer pitcher. But he's been fired at each for startling...

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